If you are checking out this post it means one of two things, either you read ideas tihat will contribute to your family so you are hoping to learn more or nothing applied to your family in the first post so your are looking for possible tips from this list! Either way, the investment you make in your family is the most imortant transaction you will ever make, second only to your salvation and choice of your lifetime partner. With our present economic status we are daily being fed information to grow our savings account and retirement fund, but do not be misled, feeding your family properly with love, attention, discipline, boundaries, fun, and vision for their future will reap greater rewards than any financial investment. You may need to devise a plan to live on less than you thought in the retirement phase of life but you only have one chance in your child's life to build the relationship you will treasure much much much more than money! Do you get my point that relationship is more valuable than money, property, travel, jewelry, art, persoal appearance/fitness or any other worldly possessions we aspire to have? Somehow it feels alright to deal with the reality of not accomplishing everything I thought I would have in life but only because I quickly learned nothing was more important than the well being of my children once I held each one in my arms and breathed the precious fragrance of a newborn! I was hooked for life! Please trust me, the relationship Jeff and I experience with our children means more than I can express. I guess that means it is time to complete this list!
26. One free day to miss school. To spend one on one time with each child I would surprise them by allowing them to stay home with me.
I would suggest that we clean out our drawers while we watched a movie for part of the day. Not only do you win brownie points but
you accomplish something that always needs doing! This is the kind of day that reminds you what you love about your child!
27. Spend the night company. Two things with this issue. Make it a standing rule that if your child asks in the presence of their friend it is
an automatic no! Secondly, remember how much fun it was to spend the night with a friend when you were a kid and say yes
sometimes! I would allow everyone to ask a friend on the same night sometimes and then it is easy to say "no" the next couple
of weeks. Amazingly, if everyone is content playing you and your spouse might sneak in a movie!
28. First birthday sleepover. Get ready because they are going ask for his way too early. The last thing you want is a group of tearful kids
that want to go home at midnight. Take a stand that everyone can have their first sleepover when they are 10. Yes they will complain
but stand firm. Anticipation is a good thing! Refer back to the suggestion not to be effected by eye rolling and sighing!
29. The dreaded, " why can't I, everybody else is!" Some things are timeless and this is one of them! Countless times we said, " we don't
make decisions for you or our family based on what everyone else is doing.". ( or wearing, watching, listening to, etc...)
30. Extra activities. So fun to watch your child participate, respond to other adults, and develop natural abilities. Just don't overload
your child or yourself. You can only drive so many carpools or incorporate so many events and stay sane!
31. Snow days! For those of us in the south this is a big event! To help get the most fun out of this rare occasion collect snow boots and
gloves at the end of the season sale or at garage sales. Keep a bin full of all sizes to pass around. ( i remember one time Joseph
wore pink boots but who cares when there is snow! ). Allow your kids to play as long as they want and don't worry about the snow
getting tracked in. It wipes up just fine. Keep hot chocolate ready to drink while their clothes are drying for round two outside.
Purchase a Coleman gas stove for the times your electricity goes out so you can take advantage of the fun day.
32. If you have room put two swingsets or other play equipment in the back yard to keep kids/friends occupied outside. Keep cheap
Popsicles in the freezer at all times!
33. Tape bubble bottles to a slat on the deck or some convenient place outside to prevent spilling the whole bottle in the first five
minutes after you get home from the store!
34. Cutout cookies to decorate with icing and sprinkles is so fun! To make it more fun for everyone use a cheap plastic tablecloth so all
the spills won't freak you out! They won't look like the ones on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens but they will taste good.
35 Help makes forts, they are fun and free!
36. Allow your kids to be loud inside if they are having fun together.
37. Take an active role in your child's PTA. Volunteer to chair or cochair an event to maintain a strong presence. Make it easy on yourself,
choose something early in the school year or something that is naturally easy for you.
38. Be room mom while your child is in elementary school. They will progress to middle school so you wont have to do it for ever!
39. Chaperone as many field trips as possible. It's a great ego booster for you and your child. Every child will want to be near you and
hold your hand. It guarantees you that the next trip to the school you will receive multiple hand waves and your name
name whispered out loud!
40. Eat lunch with your child at school and hit the playground while you are there!
41. Get to know some of the parents in your child's class. It helps you enjoy school functions more.
42. Say " yes " sometimes when you want to say " no," and they know it.
43. Develop certain rituals around bath or bed time that make it fun and helps get the job done quicker. Jeff started the 7 minute rule which
made everyone squeal and run to the bathroom to brush their teeth then jump in bed for story time.
44. Set up a system for the car so that everyone gets to ride in the front on a weekly basis. This provides less arguing and dashing to
the car.
45. Never say shut up. Choose a phrase like, be quiet please or use your inside voice. You need to model good manners if you
expect them to have good manners.
46. Everyone should take their dishes to the sink and assign each child a night for KP, setting the table or filling the glasses. This is
obviously an age appropriate chore.
47. Allow your child to be involved with you on some level of helping others. If they grow up with this type of activity being a normal
thing they will likely carry that practice into their adult life.
48. Invite your child to help you cook sometimes even if you don't want to. Any mess they make can be cleaned up and the one on
one time is valuable. Look for ways to teach life skills in everyday activities.
49. Take a stand about what age is appropriate for things like piercing ears, shaving legs, calling or texting the
opposite sex, having a cell phone. ( Cmon, get ready and stand firm! Kids not driving don't need a cell phone! ) movies, music,
talking back, degrees of messiness that is acceptable, Facebook, car dating, ..etc. ( who decided 16 was the appropriate age
to date and drive anyway! )
50. Two things that should NEVER be allowed in a child's bedroom are...the opposite sex and a computer. Some things should always
be in plain view. If you tend to disagree with this one, just think back on your behavior as a kid!
51. Say yes as often as you can without compromising things you determined you wouldn't allow. As an adult I like to go places and have
fun and our kids feel the same way.
52. Fathers, take your daughters on dates. Take your wife on dates so your kids will learn that you value your relationship with their
mom. We tend to spend time, money, and energy on the things we value the most.
53. Celebrate life landmarks with some type of ceremony. If you aren't good at this kind of thing get someone to help you that is. It is
a reference point for you and your child that both of you will always remember.
54. Commit to spending money on food with your teenagers. If you provide food they will come! You can learn a lot of good things
about your child and their friends around the table.
55. Allow some Christmas ornaments to stay on the tree where your children place them. This is a big challenge for some of us!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Puzzle Pieces of Parenting...Part Two
We just ended a wonderful family weekend together. As Jeff and I are relaxing in the quiet it seems like the perfect time for me to begin sharing ideas I think helped to shape our family. Understand, we by no means believe we handled every situation correctly. In fact part of our discussion/laughter throughout the weekend was reflective of certain instances with each child when arguing/disobedience/reaction to discipline occurred. But I must say I truly like my kids! I really liked each stage of their growing up. Each stage poses specific levels of challenge but specific levels of joy as well. To help through the journey it seems that one child may be on auto pilot while another is causing you to regroup on a daily basis! ( that is a nice way of expressing the need to scream, pull your hair out, or hope they get on the wrong bus and end up in someone else's house for the afternoon! ) Think of it like a scale. The goal is a balance and arranging your efforts will create what you and your child needs. One of my favorite life words is "normal." How do I get to that normal place? I can do normal! Everything doesn't have to be perfect, " normal " will do just fine! The list of ideas will not be in any specific order, they just popped into my head in my brainstorming session with myself. You can shuffle them around or recreate them in a way that will better fit your child/family. I hope to challenge you in a way that revs your parenting engine! This can be a fun ride with some bumps or chug holes along the way but staying the course and keeping your engine finely tuned will provide a more successful outcome for you and your children!
1. Allow and promote open communication. If you are going to be at fault let it be on the over communication side. Create an environment
where your children are not afraid to tell you what is going on with them. This also means you must stop and listen or you will give the
appearance that what you are doing is more important than what they want to tell you.
2. Answer each question as honestly as is age appropriate to establish your interest and availability and to reinforce that the lines of
communication are always open.
3. Practice keeping your eyebrows down for the times your child tells you what they heard on the playground or asks you questions you
prayed they never would! Eyebrows up are a guarantee they have set off your alarm and they will be less prone to come to you in
the future.
4. As parents, do not argue with your spouse in front of the child about decisions concerning that child. If you are unsure how you should
handle the situation, just say you need time to think about it. Don't let your child create a wedge between you as parents.
Work together to keep a firm and united appearance on the home front! If you are a single parent you need time to know how
making a certain decision will effect you and your child. Ask a close friend or family member you respect to talk through the
situation with you so you feel more confident about your decision when you approach your child.
5. Commit when your child is a toddler that it is a priority to teach them to respond and obey. This is no easy task but the sooner this is in
place the smoother every day will be for you and your child. Children will respond to boundaries but you must commit to enforcing the
boundaries so you aren't sending mixed messages. Don't tell them to do or not to do something if you don't plan to follow up. This is a
sure fire way to let them know you don't really mean what you say. If you are not in the mood to follow through, let it pass. Try to be in
the mood to enforce the desired behavior more often than not!
6. It is a good thing for your child to have a healthy fear of you. This will help confirm the boundaries you have set. You can't and shouldn't
try to reason with a toddler, preteen, or even a teen for that matter about everything. Your words should initiate a response toward
obedience. Of course there will be times when discussion takes place regarding certain situations but you can't reason with a toddler and
and shouldn't set the precedent that everything is up for discussion. Make your expectations clear and enforce them. It is not your goal to
be your child's friend. There will come a time when your relationship will reflect certain images of friendship and it is a great thing but it
occurs way down the road!
7. Truly live/model God first, spouse second, children third, family/friends fourth. Verbally teach the order of relationship and make it part of
your prayers for them that they will apply this order in their adult lives.
8. Hug and kiss your spouse appropriately in the presence of your children. This will give them a sense of security even though they
will exclaim, " ooh dad, get a room!" It also teaches them how to interact with their spouse should they choose to marry in the future
9. Say I love you everyday.
10. Hug and kiss your child even when act like they don't you to. Not in a public way that would embarrass them, of course. You never
want that type of interaction to feel awkward so if you never stop it never will.
11. Avoid being effected by eye rolling and sighing from your child when they disagree with you. They will use this tactic
so be prepared!
12. Enforce the practice of making your children call their siblings by name, not by how they feel in the heat of battle!
13. Ask questions you really want to know the answers to and avoid asking too many that are unnecessary. This involves thinking
and discipline on your part.
14. Laugh as much as you can together!
15. Surprise your child occasionally with a treat. This means you cannot buy them something every trip to the store.
16. Let your child feel the pleasure of giving to others by asking them to choose a good toy to give away.
17. Live by the philosophy of saving some things for when your child is older, pace yourself. If you do everything too early you may get
yourself in an expensive situation. It shouldn't be your goal to keep up with everyone else.
18. Have home birthday parties as long and as much as you can. Celebrations don't have to cost a fortune and especially younger children
are thrilled with cake, ice-cream, and friends.
19. Invite families/friends for meals at home. The dynamic is different than at a restaurant.
20. Allow your house to be a gathering place for adults and children. This is a lost art so help bring it back!
21. Pray daily as a family before meals you eat together. Yes this means in a restaurant! This doesn't have to be limited to mom and dad.
Allowing your children to pray not only provides you the blessing of hearing their sweet voices and thoughts but will assist their
comfort zone to pray out loud in front of others. Just choose one family member per meal. It's a good idea to hold hands as well
to provide your children the opportunity to touch their sibling in a peaceful way. They won't like it at first but so what!
22. Clutter Cleanup. Set the timer on the oven for 10 minutes and have everyone pick up their things and put them away. It's amazing
how much neater your house can become in a short time!
23. Sunday Lunch Choice. Initiate a system where each family member gets to choose which restaurant. This will drastically improve
the time it takes to come to an agreement, plus everyone complains less since they will have a turn at some point.
24. When planning a big grocery shopping run, ask family members what they would like to eat at the evening meal. This will cut down
on time deciding what to have and ensures everyone gets their favorite dish. You can also have each person help in the meal
prep. By doing this you get some one on one time with your child plus you will be teaching a lifeskill as well. ( Taken from
Multitasking for Moms, 101! )
25. Indoor Picnics. For fun spread a quilt on the den floor and eat together like you would do at the park. This is especially fun for
younger children.
7.
5.
1. Allow and promote open communication. If you are going to be at fault let it be on the over communication side. Create an environment
where your children are not afraid to tell you what is going on with them. This also means you must stop and listen or you will give the
appearance that what you are doing is more important than what they want to tell you.
2. Answer each question as honestly as is age appropriate to establish your interest and availability and to reinforce that the lines of
communication are always open.
3. Practice keeping your eyebrows down for the times your child tells you what they heard on the playground or asks you questions you
prayed they never would! Eyebrows up are a guarantee they have set off your alarm and they will be less prone to come to you in
the future.
4. As parents, do not argue with your spouse in front of the child about decisions concerning that child. If you are unsure how you should
handle the situation, just say you need time to think about it. Don't let your child create a wedge between you as parents.
Work together to keep a firm and united appearance on the home front! If you are a single parent you need time to know how
making a certain decision will effect you and your child. Ask a close friend or family member you respect to talk through the
situation with you so you feel more confident about your decision when you approach your child.
5. Commit when your child is a toddler that it is a priority to teach them to respond and obey. This is no easy task but the sooner this is in
place the smoother every day will be for you and your child. Children will respond to boundaries but you must commit to enforcing the
boundaries so you aren't sending mixed messages. Don't tell them to do or not to do something if you don't plan to follow up. This is a
sure fire way to let them know you don't really mean what you say. If you are not in the mood to follow through, let it pass. Try to be in
the mood to enforce the desired behavior more often than not!
6. It is a good thing for your child to have a healthy fear of you. This will help confirm the boundaries you have set. You can't and shouldn't
try to reason with a toddler, preteen, or even a teen for that matter about everything. Your words should initiate a response toward
obedience. Of course there will be times when discussion takes place regarding certain situations but you can't reason with a toddler and
and shouldn't set the precedent that everything is up for discussion. Make your expectations clear and enforce them. It is not your goal to
be your child's friend. There will come a time when your relationship will reflect certain images of friendship and it is a great thing but it
occurs way down the road!
7. Truly live/model God first, spouse second, children third, family/friends fourth. Verbally teach the order of relationship and make it part of
your prayers for them that they will apply this order in their adult lives.
8. Hug and kiss your spouse appropriately in the presence of your children. This will give them a sense of security even though they
will exclaim, " ooh dad, get a room!" It also teaches them how to interact with their spouse should they choose to marry in the future
9. Say I love you everyday.
10. Hug and kiss your child even when act like they don't you to. Not in a public way that would embarrass them, of course. You never
want that type of interaction to feel awkward so if you never stop it never will.
11. Avoid being effected by eye rolling and sighing from your child when they disagree with you. They will use this tactic
so be prepared!
12. Enforce the practice of making your children call their siblings by name, not by how they feel in the heat of battle!
13. Ask questions you really want to know the answers to and avoid asking too many that are unnecessary. This involves thinking
and discipline on your part.
14. Laugh as much as you can together!
15. Surprise your child occasionally with a treat. This means you cannot buy them something every trip to the store.
16. Let your child feel the pleasure of giving to others by asking them to choose a good toy to give away.
17. Live by the philosophy of saving some things for when your child is older, pace yourself. If you do everything too early you may get
yourself in an expensive situation. It shouldn't be your goal to keep up with everyone else.
18. Have home birthday parties as long and as much as you can. Celebrations don't have to cost a fortune and especially younger children
are thrilled with cake, ice-cream, and friends.
19. Invite families/friends for meals at home. The dynamic is different than at a restaurant.
20. Allow your house to be a gathering place for adults and children. This is a lost art so help bring it back!
21. Pray daily as a family before meals you eat together. Yes this means in a restaurant! This doesn't have to be limited to mom and dad.
Allowing your children to pray not only provides you the blessing of hearing their sweet voices and thoughts but will assist their
comfort zone to pray out loud in front of others. Just choose one family member per meal. It's a good idea to hold hands as well
to provide your children the opportunity to touch their sibling in a peaceful way. They won't like it at first but so what!
22. Clutter Cleanup. Set the timer on the oven for 10 minutes and have everyone pick up their things and put them away. It's amazing
how much neater your house can become in a short time!
23. Sunday Lunch Choice. Initiate a system where each family member gets to choose which restaurant. This will drastically improve
the time it takes to come to an agreement, plus everyone complains less since they will have a turn at some point.
24. When planning a big grocery shopping run, ask family members what they would like to eat at the evening meal. This will cut down
on time deciding what to have and ensures everyone gets their favorite dish. You can also have each person help in the meal
prep. By doing this you get some one on one time with your child plus you will be teaching a lifeskill as well. ( Taken from
Multitasking for Moms, 101! )
25. Indoor Picnics. For fun spread a quilt on the den floor and eat together like you would do at the park. This is especially fun for
younger children.
7.
5.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Puzzle Pieces of Parenting
I was one of a family of six, two parents, two sisters, and a brother. I was number three child so I was in the middle. I liked our big, busy family and as a girl dreaming of what my life would be like, I always saw me in the same type of family. I started babysitting as soon as I was old enough and played house when I was in someone else's house. I remember organizing the dresser drawers of one little boy I watched! Wonder why I didn't carry that desire into my own adult life! I like to have organized closets and drawers but somehow it isn't as fun when it is real! Our closet has a split personality! Jeff's side is perfect with everything exactly where it should be and then there is my side. That is another post by itself! At the age of twenty-six I had my first baby and so the dream became a reality. As much experience as I had with babies somehow it didn't carry over in the beginning of motherhood. With the cradle in our room I would panic at the sound of Rebekah rustling around. I mean what do you do with a newborn that shouldn't be hungry, has had her bath, and doesn't have a dirty diaper! So my journey as a parent began and as much as I thought I was prepared, I had so much to learn! At the time Jeff played guitar and banjo and sang backup for Marty Robbbins. They traveled a portion of every week so I was totally responsible for this baby a lot! He even had to leave the night we brought Rebekah home from the hospital! Thank goodness my mom and dad were with me at the time! But eventually they had to get back to their own lives in Texas. We had no family in Nashville to help me. Jeff's family lived six hours away and mine ten. I had to put on my big girl shoes! I'm so glad Rebekah didn't arrive with the ability to talk. Can you just imagine the tales she could tell about her rookie mom? But somehow we both survived and it must not have been too painful as I repeated the process three more times! Now we are talking about some serious parenting! Somehow the other three didn't come in the exact same package as the first one. Even though I was more confident in my baby skills, I constantly had to adjust and add more skills. And so the title of this post, "Puzzle Pieces of Parenting.". The basic skillset of parenting is the ability to put in place tactics correctly in the lives of our children that fit properly for each personality. And like a puzzle it requires trial and error to get it right. Even though we are frequently wrong with our first attempt, we have the chance to shuffle things around and try again. With patience and persistence the picture can become a beautiful work of living art!
Jeff and I have totally loved being parents even with all the ups and downs that accompany the job! And yes, we have had to confront ups and downs. Our family has been very "normal" in that category! But to give credit where credit is due, our children allowed us to work out the kinks and continue in forward motion. And for that I am very thankful! Several people have asked me to write a parenting book. I'm
certain it is because they think with four kids a person would have experienced the gammit! One afternoon Abby and I were resting on my bed and I began jotting down things I thought were helpful in our parenting journey. When I stopped I had listed fifty-five!
It was like a trip back in time and my life was flashing before me! I was entertaining myself and laughed out loud as I recalled specific scenes of Jeff and I doing our best to figure out how to function in this craziness we call life with children! I don't think I'm organized or disciplined enough to write a book ( you should see my recipe box! ) but I am good at making lists and am glad to share anything we did
that might be useful to those of you who are at any stage of parenting. Please don't assume we thought of every idea ourselves. Remember everything is original only once and then it is up for grabs! Who cares if you thought of it yourself or not, in the parenting business you should take advantage of anything and everything you can get your hands on to ensure success! This list will come in more than one post so hang in there with me! I wish only the best as you diligently place the pieces of your parenting puzzle together to create a breath taking picture you will cherish for a lifetime.
Jeff and I have totally loved being parents even with all the ups and downs that accompany the job! And yes, we have had to confront ups and downs. Our family has been very "normal" in that category! But to give credit where credit is due, our children allowed us to work out the kinks and continue in forward motion. And for that I am very thankful! Several people have asked me to write a parenting book. I'm
certain it is because they think with four kids a person would have experienced the gammit! One afternoon Abby and I were resting on my bed and I began jotting down things I thought were helpful in our parenting journey. When I stopped I had listed fifty-five!
It was like a trip back in time and my life was flashing before me! I was entertaining myself and laughed out loud as I recalled specific scenes of Jeff and I doing our best to figure out how to function in this craziness we call life with children! I don't think I'm organized or disciplined enough to write a book ( you should see my recipe box! ) but I am good at making lists and am glad to share anything we did
that might be useful to those of you who are at any stage of parenting. Please don't assume we thought of every idea ourselves. Remember everything is original only once and then it is up for grabs! Who cares if you thought of it yourself or not, in the parenting business you should take advantage of anything and everything you can get your hands on to ensure success! This list will come in more than one post so hang in there with me! I wish only the best as you diligently place the pieces of your parenting puzzle together to create a breath taking picture you will cherish for a lifetime.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Big Shoes, Little Feet
Don't you love to watch toddlers and little kids attempting to imitate what they see adults do? When I play catch with Hamilton, who is two, he not only has a bit of a windup but he has already developed a cool move of hiking up one foot when he sends the ball back to me! He has picked that up from watching his daddy and uncles throwing the football around. Grandson or not, I'm a sucker for things like that! One " Hey Nan " from my grandsons, "Aunt Nancy " from my nieces and nephews, or "Ms Nancy" from children and teens and I'm all about it! Children bring a true view of what the environment they are surrounded by is teaching them, intentionally or not. In one of my previous posts I referred to ways I had adopted some traits of my mom in jest. But in all seriousness, we are the main classroom in our children's lives! I recall when Rebekah was two she began saying " oh my gosh " with a heavy southern drawl on the " gosh " and she learned it from me! It was a phrase I added in numerous situations of conversation. I know it isn't a terrible thing to say by any means but I didn't like the way it sounded coming from my cherub faced child! So I had to break us both from the habit on my part and the new addition to her vocabulary! On a positive note, when she was sixteen, I overheard her on the phone giving advice to a friend about boys and she was repeating word for word a prior conversation she and I had. In my twenty-nine years of parenting I have had multiple opportunities to observe the positive and negative influences our behavior has had on our children. They are watching and listening to us live our lives and will incorporate what they see and hear into theirs! It is natural to assume they are not tuned in to what is going on, I mean they are little kids, right? I am amazed at the details my children remember, think they remember, and talk about when we are all together. We have some serious laughing sessions, especially when we watch one of the twenty-six VHS tapes of Christmas mornings with Bing Crosby singing in the background, birthday parties, school programs, football and soccer games, dance recitals, jumping in piles of fall leaves, the precious days when we had enough snow to go sledding and have snowball fights, the neighborhood talent shows, and the all time favorite question, " Mom are you sure that was in style?". Believe me, they are taking it all in! It begins when they are babies. Think about it, they learn their first words because we have said "mama" or " dada" a hundred times just waiting for that first sound you have been waiting and longing to hear! This summer before Hamilton was two we found him in our
bathroom in Jeff's deodorant smelling it and putting it on! Cute, right? Of course it is cute but it reinforces how even our little ones are
paying attention. Hudson and Hamilton spent Friday night with us so when Jeff picked them up they went straight to the music store to play
the drums. ( Even though he is four Hudson can really play the drums and has been interested since he was two! I'm not just saying that
because I'm his Nan! ). At dinner Jeff said, " Hudson, you really play the drums good! Do you think you might be a worship leader when you grow up?" Hudson replied, " I'm going to be on your worship team, Papa J! ". Whether he does or not, a seed has been planted by watching Jeff play, going to rehearsals with Jeff, having " band time " with his parents and other family members, and being allowed to build and bang on boxes and bowls when Hamilton wasn't napping! The tricky part is we can never be sure when they are tuned in or tuned out or what their interpretation of our words or actions might be. Quite a bit of pressure, huh? You bet it is because once we decide to be responsible for the life of a child it should become top priority in our life for twenty plus years above everything except out relationship with God and our mate! Whoops! Am I preaching here? Hamilton likes to put on Rebekah's shoes or mine sometimes when we are getting ready for the day and there is makeup and blow dryers going like crazy! It's such a funny sight to see his little feet walking in those big shoes! Just think how much he has to learn, starting with which side of the closet he should be selecting his shoes!
bathroom in Jeff's deodorant smelling it and putting it on! Cute, right? Of course it is cute but it reinforces how even our little ones are
paying attention. Hudson and Hamilton spent Friday night with us so when Jeff picked them up they went straight to the music store to play
the drums. ( Even though he is four Hudson can really play the drums and has been interested since he was two! I'm not just saying that
because I'm his Nan! ). At dinner Jeff said, " Hudson, you really play the drums good! Do you think you might be a worship leader when you grow up?" Hudson replied, " I'm going to be on your worship team, Papa J! ". Whether he does or not, a seed has been planted by watching Jeff play, going to rehearsals with Jeff, having " band time " with his parents and other family members, and being allowed to build and bang on boxes and bowls when Hamilton wasn't napping! The tricky part is we can never be sure when they are tuned in or tuned out or what their interpretation of our words or actions might be. Quite a bit of pressure, huh? You bet it is because once we decide to be responsible for the life of a child it should become top priority in our life for twenty plus years above everything except out relationship with God and our mate! Whoops! Am I preaching here? Hamilton likes to put on Rebekah's shoes or mine sometimes when we are getting ready for the day and there is makeup and blow dryers going like crazy! It's such a funny sight to see his little feet walking in those big shoes! Just think how much he has to learn, starting with which side of the closet he should be selecting his shoes!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Make a Joyful Noise
About the age of ten I could sing harmony, mostly alto sometimes tenor. I took piano lessons so I could read music but I didn't have to read the notes, I heard parts in my head. I loved to sing! One of my favorite things at the summer camp I attended from age ten through seventeen was the daily event of hymn time. I always wanted to sit near the front, even when I was in my teens and had a camp boyfriend who was way too cool to sit near the front of hymn time! My dad always picked me up from camp and my sisters and I would sing every new song we had learned during the camp session on the drive home. Dad could whistle like a bird sings and it was a good thing because he could not remember lyrics! He was always impressed that we remembered the words! I loved the " Sound of Music " and my piano teacher ordered me a book with all the songs from the movie. With that I could accompany myself singing and did I ever love that! Sometimes I was goofy enough to sing in my room with the door closed using a hairbrush as a microphone! I took chorus in high school but even with this passion for singing I didn't really consider myself a singer. I was the cheerleader/athlete type which shaped the identity of myself more than music. That identity kept me from participating in one of the choruses in college which I regret to this day. But during that phase of life I started dating this guy whose single most important love was music. On one of our early dates we were in the park and he brought his guitar along. He wanted to hear me sing and I asked if singing was like a prerequisite or something? I finally gave in but said he couldn't look at me while I sang! That afternoon opened up a part of me that led to some of the best and most rewarding moments in my life! Singing did become part of my adult identity, ministry, and fulfilled the passion I had felt all my life! I sang with Jeff and friends, I sang to our babies, I sang backup in a recording studio, I sang as part of a western chuck wagon dinner/stage show we were part of starting, and I eventually sang with a contemporary Christian group which committed to weekly rehearsals, recorded several albums ( yes albums, then cassettes, and eventually CD's, and I know many of you reading this remembers that order! ) and traveled frequently on weekends to sing in multiple settings. In my pharmaceutical tenure we sang Christmas carols in three part harmony to doctors, staff, and patients in the waiting room
which was as fun as being Santa Claus! I have spent countless hours rehearsing before any presentation was made. In December 2009,
while singing on the worship team one Sunday morning, I noticed my voice seemed different. This was in the beginning of experiencing an occasional speech mishap and while driving home that day I realized my speech/singing ability was in jeopardy and I began weeping. What had been as natural as breathing to me is now gone. That is like telling a bird not to sing, a dog not to bark, a rooster not to crow! Take away those traits from each creature and what is left? Psalm 96:1 says " sing to the Lord a new song " and in one way that is definitely what I do now. Really, it isn't so pleasant to hear what comes out of my mouth these days! But in Psalm 95, 98, and 100 of the English Standard Version Translation the phrase, " make a joyful noise " appears which is great comfort for me because " noise " is exactly what comes out of my mouth! Occasionally because singing takes place in your head as well as your vocal chords I can think myself to hit a certain note but other than that it is noise! I have found that my noise will eventually hit/blend with the melody/harmony for a note or two and I have to admit it makes me giggle inside! Never before has the scripture in Ephesians 5:19 that says " sing and make melody in your heart to the Lord " been such a comfort to me! I mean what if my ability to sing was the only way to worship God? The goal of singing is not to be heard or to sound pleasing to others but to praise the creator of our voices! I am so thankful that worship takes place in my heart and mind, not totally through my ability to sing. Because of this my worship has not changed at all! Consider how we greet someone we love. We get excited, embrace them, and exclaim words of joy because of our feelings for this person. Our approach to our Lord and Savior should be the same! I hope this encourages anyone that holds back because of their lack of singing ability! Verse 20 of the same chapter says to " always give thanks to God the Father for everything.". I am still working on that part but when I consider these words from this song I am inspired to try! " Our God saves, there is hope in Your name, mourning turns to songs of praise, our God saves!"
which was as fun as being Santa Claus! I have spent countless hours rehearsing before any presentation was made. In December 2009,
while singing on the worship team one Sunday morning, I noticed my voice seemed different. This was in the beginning of experiencing an occasional speech mishap and while driving home that day I realized my speech/singing ability was in jeopardy and I began weeping. What had been as natural as breathing to me is now gone. That is like telling a bird not to sing, a dog not to bark, a rooster not to crow! Take away those traits from each creature and what is left? Psalm 96:1 says " sing to the Lord a new song " and in one way that is definitely what I do now. Really, it isn't so pleasant to hear what comes out of my mouth these days! But in Psalm 95, 98, and 100 of the English Standard Version Translation the phrase, " make a joyful noise " appears which is great comfort for me because " noise " is exactly what comes out of my mouth! Occasionally because singing takes place in your head as well as your vocal chords I can think myself to hit a certain note but other than that it is noise! I have found that my noise will eventually hit/blend with the melody/harmony for a note or two and I have to admit it makes me giggle inside! Never before has the scripture in Ephesians 5:19 that says " sing and make melody in your heart to the Lord " been such a comfort to me! I mean what if my ability to sing was the only way to worship God? The goal of singing is not to be heard or to sound pleasing to others but to praise the creator of our voices! I am so thankful that worship takes place in my heart and mind, not totally through my ability to sing. Because of this my worship has not changed at all! Consider how we greet someone we love. We get excited, embrace them, and exclaim words of joy because of our feelings for this person. Our approach to our Lord and Savior should be the same! I hope this encourages anyone that holds back because of their lack of singing ability! Verse 20 of the same chapter says to " always give thanks to God the Father for everything.". I am still working on that part but when I consider these words from this song I am inspired to try! " Our God saves, there is hope in Your name, mourning turns to songs of praise, our God saves!"
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice...
She was sitting on the porch waiting for us to arrive and as soon as she saw us she ran into the house to tell her mom. As we walked toward the house I saw traces of chalk on the sidewalk, just one of the signs indicating a child lives here! One would have thought we were someone special by the excitement on her face and the wiggling taking place! It was the first time we had visited her new house and she could barely contain herself! She was dressed in a new, long sleeved pink shirt with a caricature of a little girl applicayed on the front. From my experience I could spot a new, long sleeved shirt that had been purchased in the summer just waiting for the first cool morning so it could be worn! She had a pink with white polka dots bow in her hair and it was a bit lower on her head than it had started out to be in the morning I am certain. There were a few loose curls framing her sweet face, an indication of a day full of play activities and maybe even a few minutes "rest" on her pallet at preschool. After a tour of the house we decided to eat on the deck since the weather finally had cooled down bringing us a hint that fall was finally here! She wanted to help expedite the whole meal process of course and asked for our preference of drinks. She actually made it from the kitchen to the table outside placing each filled glass correctly and without spilling a drop. How that happened is short of a miracle! During dinner conversation she interacted like she was one of us, the four adults exchanging news from the day and even showed us a few tricks she knew about her mom's iPhone! She recalled names and places like she had lived here forever instead of the short two and a half month tenure. After dessert we went back inside and I requested that she share with me one of her favorite books. As we sat on the sofa side by side with my arm around her so as to scoop her as close to me as I could get her, in an instant that posture with her made my mind race with memories of the countless times, minutes, books I had shared with my own girls dressed in a pink long-sleeved shirt and a pink with white polka dots bow in their hair. It felt so natural to me and I knew just how to giggle at the right places in the story even though I was reminiscing as I listened. ( God made moms able to do that, you know! ). I can't begin to count the number of pink, girly items I have purchased or made during that time in my mom life! The hair bows to match a specific outfit or season of the year alone was monumental! From hair bows to smocked dresses, ballet shoes, tights and tutus, to back packs and lunch boxes our house was filled with pink indicators that girls were on the premices! I loved every minute of coordinating outfits with shoes and bows so that my girls looked like a doll come to life! I didn't spend a lot money for them to have the look but rather accepted the challenge of accomplishing that by shopping for sales, garage sales, passing around items with friends and family, and working at a local specialty fabric store as my mother's day out two days a week for fabric instead of money. Our house reeked of pink with three daughters to dress! I'm not sure who had more fun, the girls or me! I do know that I cherish the memories of all the challenges that accompanied that stage of my life. It doesn't require much for me to be back there in my mind. Just the appearance of a little girl sporting a little pink and I'm there!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
How Do Those Words Taste?
Do you remember a time in your teen or young adult years when you declared to yourself you would NEVER do something the way your mom and dad did? If you just thought "no" then I feel pretty sure you aren't being honest! I definitely remember thinking that on more than one subject and about to admit three! I don't remember exactly what age I was when I noticed my mom's bra had three or four hooks as compared to mine that had two. When I asked why mom said because it was more supportive than a bra with just two. All I could think was I would never wear one like that because I didn't like the way it looked! I don't remember exactly when but I think it was sometime after baby number three that I stood in front of the dressing room mirror at JC Penny's in University Mall ( which is no longer there but has become a new Super Target ) when I actually allowed myself to try on this bra style the sales clerk brought me that had three or four hooks in the back! Really? Did she not see how young I was? What would make her think I needed a bra like that anyway? But being the polite person that I am I decided to try it on since she was being so helpful and by then had probably brought me twenty different bras to try on! ( picture how many of those little hangers are lying everywhere! ). Then it happened! I stood quietly for a moment, moved my arms a bit to see how this harness felt, and said, " I have become my mother! " It wasn't that I didn't like my mother, I just didn't think I would ever wear a bra like she wore! One of those rare nights that Jeff and I actually had a date night with no kids, we were at the movie and I was miserable because I thought the theater was freezing! Then it spurred my memory to a few other times I was cold in a restaurant or in the church building. I remembered my mom always wanted to have a " light jacket " just in case she got a little cool!". I began either wanting to wear a top with a long sleeve, three quarter length sleeve, or have a "denim jacket " with me. That was different than wearing a "'light jacket," right? Wrong!
Now for the third confession. When I was a child my dad's car dealership was right across the street from the hair salon my mom went to every Friday. You have to understand, when I say every Friday I mean every Friday no matter what! I remember so well that salon with seated hair dryers lined up all along the wall and the smell of perm solution in the air! I loved to go with mom and hang out between dad's dealership and Miss Kathleen's salon! When I became an adult I thought how did mom get her hair done every week when I washed and dried my hair every day? I knew my mom didn't run every day like I did so she didn't really get hot and sweaty. In fact my mom made it a point not to ever get hot! Air conditioning was used at our house any day of the year the Texas temperature was above eighty degrees outsde! Lately I have a difficult time blow drying and styling my hair. I am not into fake nails that require biweekly attention or regular facials or message therapy but I have always liked to have a good haircut, style, and mascara! So I am miserable trying to do my hair to my standard, it's not just happening! So I did something I never thought I would do. I made an appointment to get my hair washed, dried, and styled yesterday! It was a Friday and I found myself in the hair salon. Once again, I have become my mother! Because my parents were smart I know there are more than these three things I mimic but these are the ones I remember that make me laugh! What about you?
Now for the third confession. When I was a child my dad's car dealership was right across the street from the hair salon my mom went to every Friday. You have to understand, when I say every Friday I mean every Friday no matter what! I remember so well that salon with seated hair dryers lined up all along the wall and the smell of perm solution in the air! I loved to go with mom and hang out between dad's dealership and Miss Kathleen's salon! When I became an adult I thought how did mom get her hair done every week when I washed and dried my hair every day? I knew my mom didn't run every day like I did so she didn't really get hot and sweaty. In fact my mom made it a point not to ever get hot! Air conditioning was used at our house any day of the year the Texas temperature was above eighty degrees outsde! Lately I have a difficult time blow drying and styling my hair. I am not into fake nails that require biweekly attention or regular facials or message therapy but I have always liked to have a good haircut, style, and mascara! So I am miserable trying to do my hair to my standard, it's not just happening! So I did something I never thought I would do. I made an appointment to get my hair washed, dried, and styled yesterday! It was a Friday and I found myself in the hair salon. Once again, I have become my mother! Because my parents were smart I know there are more than these three things I mimic but these are the ones I remember that make me laugh! What about you?
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